Grumptitude

Who the frig am I kidding? I've just had an 'Effervescent B-Active Orange flavoured tablet' which says it is rapidly absorbed to support a busy and engergetic lifestyle. I've lain around the ferkin' house all day doing sod all. I haven't been to the gym in over a week and I actually caught myself in the week saying (out loud) that I couldn't wait to go home so I could go to bed.

Lazy bitch

Y'know what aggravates me? That advert for First Direct bank which shows some idiot child pretending to talk like a whale at school and the teacher tells her off for always talking too much. The point of the advert is that this idiot child goes on to work for First Direct where she talks to customers all day and that First Direct should be applauded for hiring people who love to talk and give customer service. To me, the point of the advert is that the aggravating idiot child did nothing but fucking talk all day at school and therefore ended up working in a call centre.

Here's another thing. They just advertised Piers Morgan's interview with Susan Boyle. Jesus Christ, she looks like the Witch of the Waste from Howl's Moving Castle and how is anyone supposed to sit and listen to her bizarre voice for an hour or however long the show is on? You can barely understand a word she says and she's proper WEIRD. I am starting to conclude that her 15 minutes are NEVER going to end. Wonder if I have time to find a Betting Site which will give me good odds on some contrived question coming out which will make her cry like a shitty baby. I reckon it'll be a re-hash of her sudden decision to announce that at some stage in her life she tried to off herself. Purleeeeeese.

Ok, ANOTHER aggravation. Another ad too. That one for Perle De Lait yoghurts. The woman with the pretend French accent screws her face up into a proper gurn to tell us that she used to eat sour yoghurt and that it was horrible but then she found Perle de Lait and that's lovely so she's well pleased with herself. Why would you eat anything that was so bloody horrible it made you look like that? Just stop eating the fucking yoghurt. Eat a turd of shit instead love, I bet it makes you wince but won't taste as bad as you'd have us believe the sour yoghurt was. Jeeeeeez, adverts nowadays, they must think we're all a bunch of morons.

Ok, now to complain about my stupid tits again. Y'know, I wear a bra and suddenly it's too big so I get a smaller one. This one presses the buggers flat to my chest and I can't breathe so I get one the same size as the one that was previously too big. THIS one won't do up around me. Wha? WHY? Have I got some sort of 'Manimal' transformation taking place within my body that it is a significantly different size every sodding day? I had to go to a party thing last night and wore a halterneck dress. Having stupid big tits I had to get a strapless bra for the occasion. The cup size is the only thing that remains constant in my weird breast scenario. Well, previously, last night the bra swamped them to the extent I could have got both in one cup. STUPID tits.

I'm in a right bad mood today. Got a headache, woke up with a false eyelash stuck to my brow and god only knows where the other one got to. Put my contact lenses in and was rendered blind! Then I realised I'd again slept in yesterday's pair. Having 2 contact lenses on one eye is weird. One corrects the vision, the other uncorrects so I guess that's puts me back to square one. If I'd put a third lens on then I'd be able to see again. Perhaps I'll try that tomorrow. It'll look like a telescope on each eye but hell, it's something to do innit?