Stoned

So I had a gig in Bournemouth last night. It was a stressful journey, driving in the dark and the rain with barely a clue as to where the bleedin' hell I was going. I'd of course printed off a route planner but hadn't even considered it'd be too dark to read the thing. I found myself lost for a goodly amount of time and only found the venue by accident through just driving about towards areas that looked a bit comedic. Sometimes I just love how the chaos theory works out...

When I arrived my chest felt tight and as I'm still recovering from Consumption (she said, full of hypochondria), I took 2 paracetamol extra before going into the venue to let the promoter know I was there. They were still setting up so I went back to the car for another quick run through of my set.

I started to cough so rifled through my bag to find the bottle of vile tasting Covonia cough medicine and took a massive swig. I'm not really certain what happened next, I sort of became a bit distracted, forgot a chunk of the set (I think I only remembered the first 2 minutes and some of that was a bit ropey) and became unusually nervous.

I went back in and learned that pretty much all of the audience were in fact fellow comedians and as the weather was closing in, there was little prospect of further 'audience-age'. Great. I find that mostly, other comedians tend to make for a shit audience. I suspect they don't like to laugh as they feel they are being disrespectful to their own comedy (unless they're friends with you and need you to laugh heartily at them in return).

As I sat and waited for everything to kick off I realised that my limbs were sort of light and were in fact floating away. I smiled. Then I realised my head was somewhere completely different and I felt good. Well, sort of good. I didn't really know anything and couldn't think. I hadn't a clue what my first line was going to be but still I sat there with something of a half smile on my face in a fuzz of happiness. I sent The Tidiness Nazi (best friend/housemate Steph) a text telling her that I thought I was stoned on Covonia. She helpfully pointed out that I'd taken 2 paracetamol extra tablets about 10 minutes before I'd swigged the cough medicine. Shiit, I'd forgotten about that.

Bleedin hell. Have I O.D'd on paracetamol and Covonia? It feels lovely but through the haze I did realise it wasn't the best state to be in with less than half an hour before I'm meant to perform stand up. Stilllll, it didn't matter, nothing mattered

sigh.......

Oh yeah, I'll have to drive home too.

Bollocks.

All I have to say is that I performed well under the influence of over the counter meds and made it home in one piece. I only got lost 4 times too!

All in all, mysteriously a success. Perhaps Covonia is the key!