Lucky Underpants

So, today I had to go for a 5 hour assessment to find out whether I get to the next stage of police recruitment. I'm still traumatised by the whole situation. Considering I deal with anti social behaviour on a daily basis, am bloody good at dealing with people, write loads of reports and am confident in my abilities, I turned into a great big incompetent buffoon who writes and talks a big pile of steaming shit. I don't actually know why a stand up comedian type person would want to become a police officer. I think it's all down to my inherent nosiness and desire to see bizarre things and meet strange people. Clearly this is an unreal expectation - I can see that but heck......it'll be a laugh, surely! Samuel Pepys had interesting things to write and that's why his diary got famous - hell, he wrote about the Great Fire of London. What have I got to write about? Some poor kid on the ferry today who had been lumbered with HECTOR as a name! What would possess a woman in this day and age to call her bleedin' kid Hector. Clearly she didn't want him and intends for him to get beaten up at school every day.

...but I digress, in order to achieve success today I bought 4 new pairs of underpants but then couldn't decide which to wear so I could achieve my goals. In an attempt to establish one pair as being 'lucky' I asked a number of people which of the 4 sounded most lucky - red/white stripes, pink with white spots, red with white spots or white with blue spots. I figured the blue ones were most 'policey' so chose them. Due to the horror that was today I now suspect blue spots are not lucky at all. Damn me and my assumptions. Will choose another pair tomorrow for my stand up tomorrow night in Bournemouth and see if things are better. By God I'll find out WHICH of these godforsaken pants are lucky if it takes me the rest of my life (or the next 3 days perhaps).