Wouldn't it be weird..

Oh Lordy, my internal dialogue has been off on one again.  Sorry, I have to write it down so it gets out of my head.  This time it wasn't so much a 'What would I do if....', it was more of a 'Wouldn't it be weird if...'. 

Ok, it started off when I was in the shower and, for some reason, I began thinking of that film with Arnie.  Oh shit, what's it called?  Hang on............Predator?  It's the alien one and it couldn't see him when he was wet.  I started thinking how weird it would be if suddenly my house was over-run with weird small aliens who killed everyone else but couldn't see me 'cause I was in the shower.  For a while I figured I'd just watch them through the glass with a smug look on my face  as they ran around the bathroom, giving them the finger 'cause I was safe.  Then the realisation hit me that for this to happen I'd have to not be shocked to see the aliens and have advanced knowledge that it was the water thing that was keeping me safe.  I then thought that I'd end up with trench foot as I'd have to live in a running shower for god knows how long!  What would I eat?  No nutrition in Radox Lavender shower gel.  At least I could have a wee.

Then I began to think about an alternative alien fear (what's with the aliens thing?).  What, right, if I was in the bathroom and aliens decided they wanted me for some kind of alien zoo type thing.  I think I was thinking about A.I. at this point but I can't think of the part this might relate to.  Oh hang on, it's the end when they want to understand about human life at the time the little robot kid was around.  Yeah, so I'm in the bathroom and they detach it and fly it away to wherever but they don't understand humans very well so they scan me and every day provide me with exactly the same thing I've already eaten that day.

I'd be buggered if I was scanned yesterday.  I had 2 stale biscuits of a nondescript variety.  They were the shit ones left after all the good ones had been scoffed from a selection tin, 3 slices of pizza and some bacon flavoured crisps.  I then threw up (due to my shit digestion).  That was it, apart from some water, no goodness, no vitamins or minerals and definitely no roughage!  Bloody hell, I'd have Rickets after 4 days if I had to live on that lot for the rest of my life. Rickets and impacted bowels no doubt.  I vowed to myself that I would eat some more varied foodstuffs just in case this scenario should ever happen.  Oh yeah, and I'd need to ensure I introduced some sweets into my diet for the same reason.  Eternity in an alien zoo with no feckin sweets would be hell on not-earth.

I recognise this stuff sounds like the ramblings of a strange person but I'm sure everyone thinks things like this, they just don't tell people.

There was something else I wanted to share but I can't remember what it is now.  Perhaps tomorrow